Why Alcoholics Don’t Like Recycling (Humor)

I saw this on facebook today:

It made me think of my history with empties. I would cram garbage bags full of empties into a plastic garbage can with a lid so that all of my neighbors would not see what I had been doing in my spare time. They obviously knew there weren’t any parties in my humble abode. I also lived on a busy street and who knew who would drive by and see scads of plastic bins regurgitating beer cans and large glass bottles?  I was also too embarrassed to return them to the store for the money.  Standing at a nonjudgmental machine seemed (at a cursory glance) like a good idea.  But they are almost ALWAYS near the entrance of a store.  Who could predict what coworker, neighbor, parent, friend, acquaintance would come in?  Then I could go to the liquor store and mumble about the party — I did this sometimes. I would also intentionally buy different brands so it would look like many friends with many preferences had attended.  But my face still burned with embarrassment.  I knew they knew.  The same guy taking my garbage bag was often the same guy who rang me up some nights ago.  I rotated liquor stores, yes ……

There was a time when I even bought a keg and put it in my fridge.  Now it REALLY looked like I was having a party.  I took the shelves out and the plastic bottom to the fridge buckled and moaned in rebellion.  I crammed my few necessities around this keg — a thing of eggs, a loaf of bread, some half and half for my coffee ….. all of these things teetered around the keg.  Ultimately the bottom of the fridge splintered a bit and cracked.  I put one of the shelves at the bottom to support it and kept mum to my landlord about it.  Unfortunately, the more alcohol I had ready access to, the more I drank.  That keg was a blackout machine.

Thank God I can recycle everything today in clear conscience without a worry about who will see what. Today it’s mostly empty plastic vats of berries or tomatoes, empty gallons of milk, some yogurt cups, bottles of detergent ……. and probably wayyyyyyyy too many empty diet pepsis.

My “empties” look a whole lot different today.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Why Alcoholics Don’t Like Recycling (Humor)

  1. Al K Hall says:

    i never really had a problem recycling because i live in a place where a plethora of bottles isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Still, one time, i was cleaning and asked my son (about 13 at the time) to take the empties out to the recycling bin on the corner. He came back and said he was never doing it again because people near it made fun of him. So, i do get what you’re saying here! Thanks for the story (and the smile)!

  2. Becki says:

    LOL. Wonder what they said to make fun of him? some age jokes? Or “you da MAN?” 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s