Raffle Ticket

My son and I went out to a street festival here in town the other day, and I ran into a beloved friend of my dad’s.  We hugged and did the whole “how you do” thing before he offered me a raffle ticket.  Now, I LOVE this man.  LOVE him.  Knowing he’s a veteran and belongs to tons of organizations, I didn’t have to be a psychic to know it was for a good cause.  I handed him a dollar, filled in my info on the stub and hugged him goodbye.  Cramming my half of the ticket in my pocket, I never looked at it.  My son and I enjoyed music, food, running into friends, and some booth-browsing.

When I got home, I took it out of my pocket.  I realized I didn’t even know what the grand prize was.  I looked at it.  It simply said, “Truckload of Party Goodies (See Back).”  Turning it over, my jaw dropped.  It reads:

 

“18 pk Coors (or light)

18 pk Budweiser (or light)

18 pk Michelob (or light)

750 ml  Southern Comfort

1 Liter of Peachtree

750 ml  V.O.

1 Liter Jack Daniels

750 ml J&B

750 ml Bacardi Rum

750 ml Sauza Tequila

750 ml Goldschlager

750 ml Kahlua

(2) 6 packs Smirnoff Ice

(4) 4 packs wine coolers

12pk Mike’s Hard Lemonade ……

[It then goes on to list other party goods like potato chips , steak, coffee, turkey, ham, etc.]”

2nd Prize: 

” 10 lb Beef Roast, 1 Liter Captain Morgan.”

3rd Prize: 

10 lb Ham, 1 Liter of Jack Daniels

4th Prize:

20 lb Frozen Turkey, 750 ml Wild Turkey

5th Prize: 

1 Liter of Kahlua

 

So.  I’ll bet you ANYTHING that I – of all people – will win the grand prize.  It would be just my luck.  My Higher Power has a strange sense of humor.  LOL.

 

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Why Alcoholics Don’t Like Recycling (Humor)

I saw this on facebook today:

It made me think of my history with empties. I would cram garbage bags full of empties into a plastic garbage can with a lid so that all of my neighbors would not see what I had been doing in my spare time. They obviously knew there weren’t any parties in my humble abode. I also lived on a busy street and who knew who would drive by and see scads of plastic bins regurgitating beer cans and large glass bottles?  I was also too embarrassed to return them to the store for the money.  Standing at a nonjudgmental machine seemed (at a cursory glance) like a good idea.  But they are almost ALWAYS near the entrance of a store.  Who could predict what coworker, neighbor, parent, friend, acquaintance would come in?  Then I could go to the liquor store and mumble about the party — I did this sometimes. I would also intentionally buy different brands so it would look like many friends with many preferences had attended.  But my face still burned with embarrassment.  I knew they knew.  The same guy taking my garbage bag was often the same guy who rang me up some nights ago.  I rotated liquor stores, yes ……

There was a time when I even bought a keg and put it in my fridge.  Now it REALLY looked like I was having a party.  I took the shelves out and the plastic bottom to the fridge buckled and moaned in rebellion.  I crammed my few necessities around this keg — a thing of eggs, a loaf of bread, some half and half for my coffee ….. all of these things teetered around the keg.  Ultimately the bottom of the fridge splintered a bit and cracked.  I put one of the shelves at the bottom to support it and kept mum to my landlord about it.  Unfortunately, the more alcohol I had ready access to, the more I drank.  That keg was a blackout machine.

Thank God I can recycle everything today in clear conscience without a worry about who will see what. Today it’s mostly empty plastic vats of berries or tomatoes, empty gallons of milk, some yogurt cups, bottles of detergent ……. and probably wayyyyyyyy too many empty diet pepsis.

My “empties” look a whole lot different today.