Today ……

Today:

  1. I woke up in the time frame known as AM
  2. My head was clear and I didn’t need to take Motrin or drink lots of water to squash the hangover and cotton mouth.
  3. My head wasn’t racing with excuses for my behavior last night
  4. I remember everything that happened last night and my conscience is clear
  5. There was no puke in my bed
  6. I know the person I woke up with — and am very glad he was there.  🙂
  7. I have not lied to anyone
  8. I have plans for later on today and am not conniving about how to get out of them so I can go to the bar — and I’m looking forward to my plans today
  9. I am responsible and will get things done (as long as my body and chronic illness allow – but today’s a “good day” in terms of the Lyme Disease)
  10. There is much love in my life today as there had been chaos some years ago
  11. I am available if someone needs me
  12. I am not cringing when the phone rings and wondering if I should answer it — I am not wondering if it is a creditor, some guy from the bar, my boss calling me in or calling to tell me I’m late, the landlord wondering where his money is, or some other person I’ll feel the need to dodge
  13. I don’t despise myself today
  14. I love myself today
  15. I am not cringing, thinking of how I endangered myself and others on the way home last night.  I am not inspecting my car for dents and dings .  I remember how I got home last night with the clarity of someone who was “present” when she was driving — not just sober, but also aware and not preoccupied
  16. I am not thinking up ways of how to get my own way.  I am thinking about other people’s needs today.  Self-seeking has disappeared
  17. I am not hostile.  I am not looking for a fight.  I am not baiting anyone, trying to get them to argue with me or otherwise engage in battle.   I am not looking for an outlet for the rage I used to feel every minute of every day
  18. My sink is not filled with dishes in murky water with a slimy film on top of them
  19. There aren’t dirty clothes strewn all over my floor that I would later pick through to see which is the least of evils; this is how I used to decide what to wear
  20. I am grateful to be alive today.  I am not wishing I was dead and loathing the fact that I was lacking the gumption to do something about it.
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s